I'm that girl who brings a bag of activities to keep myself occupied whenever I hang out with my guy friends. Not because they're boring, but because their typical idea of hanging out usually consists of video games and/or sports. I love their company but I do not love watching boys yell at the TV while shooting people and... zombies (read on for more information about zombies). Today, being that it is Sunday, means football and lots of it. Football is okay, it's entertaining at times but I'd rather be reading, or blogging. My guy friends asked me what I was doing because I've been sitting in the corner, quiet and typing like a mad man for hours now. When I responded with "Oh, just working on my blog", my hilarious friend, Sam (nice name, eh?) responded that he would like to write a post. So, without further adieu, here he is:
Hi, My name is Sam (the boy version). I am the coolest person in the world. As the coolest person in the world I need to tell you something very fucking important. The ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE is coming! Get your shit together now and fast. A few things you need to know about zombies; they don't care about you or your family, they are hungry for your flesh, and they will find YOU. My dick feels like corn. First thing you need to do is make a clean break with any people in your life that will be useless in this situation. That means no women or children. USELESS. Second thing you need to do is gain the trust of your neighbors. Once you gain the trust of your neighbors you need to buy a gun. When they first receive news of the zombie apocalypse they will naturally come to your door. Of course, you invite them in. Thats when you pull out your badass firearm and take all of their canned foods. Now, board up the windows and head to the basement. If you are in Minnesota the zombies should freeze over the winter. You will be fine. Come out in in spring, smell, the roses, and laugh your ass off about all those suckers who trusted, maybe even loved you. You've made it.
Thanks, Sam for that extremely informative post. I now know if there is ever a zombie apocalypse that being a woman, I'm f***ed. Enjoy your Sunday, friends.
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